


Need You Now

by KaeCooks



Category: Chicago PD
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Linstead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaeCooks/pseuds/KaeCooks
Summary: Voight threatens to fire Jay if he keeps dating Erin. Jay does what's best for his career and breaks up with her.After Hank is killed in a hostage situation gone wrong, will Jay go back to the woman he loves? Will she give him a second chance?Tag to Chicago PD 2x22. Characters you recognize (sadly) aren't mine.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Erin Lindsay
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. It Was Different

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> I want to start by saying a HUGE thank you goes out to my friend Christine, who really helped me get into these characters, fueled my passion for writing this story, and was always there to answer questions or provide encouragement. I couldn't have done it without her. 
> 
> This is my first Linstead fic, and it's pretty angsty, put I PROMISE there's a happy ending coming! 
> 
> I'll update every week on Sunday. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Much love,  
> Kae

###  **Chapter 1: It Was Different**

Another shot of whiskey slid down her throat. 

She lost her father today.

He told them he didn’t think there were three shooters keeping the hostages. . . and he couldn’t’ve been more wrong. 

She’d fought him on it - god, she’d fought him on it - but he’d gone in alone and unarmed anyway, trying to get more information. What he and the twelve hostages actually got were bullets to their heads.

Her glass barely hit the counter and Bunny was right there again with a refill. 

It was so fucked up. Her real parent who’d never given a damn about her was still here while her adoptive parent who had given her the world was gone. 

She watched as the amber liquid flowed into the glass. 

Her phone rang. 

It was Jay - again.

She ignored it. Maybe he’d stop calling eventually.

“Got somewhere to stay tonight?” Bunny asked her.

“I have an apartment, Mom,” she answered.

“And just how are you planning on getting there?” Bunny asked her with a patronizing look. 

“There’s cabs.” There was also Nadia, but it was already way too late to call her.

“After the day you’ve had? Nuh uh. You’re staying with me.”

“No, I’ll be -”

“It wasn’t a suggestion, Erin. Times like this, you need to be around family.”

She rolled her eyes, downing the shot in front of her. Nadia  _ was  _ family - more than Bunny had ever been. But the look on the older woman’s face told her there was no point in arguing and honestly, at this point, she was too drunk to care. “Fine.”

Bunny smiled and poured her another glass. “Good.”

She didn’t know how many more drinks she had that night. She just kept drinking, trying to wash the pain away, and Bunny kept refilling. 

_______________________

When she woke up the next day, it was way too bright. 

She looked at the time. 

Shit. 

She was supposed to be at work  _ four hours _ ago.

“You turned off the alarm on my phone,” she accused, marching out into the kitchen where Bunny was cooking.

“I let you sleep in,” Bunny replied innocently, walking over to her with a cup of coffee. “You know,” Bunny said, changing the topic, “It was really nice last night, you talking to me about what’s on your mind. What happened to Hank is  _ truly _ terrible. I know how much he meant to you. If you want to talk about it, I am so here for you.”

She exhaled sharply, rolling her eyes as she took a drink. “Whatever I said last night, chalk it up to the whiskey. This coffee is insane. Did you heat it with a flamethrower?”

Bunny gasped, looking at her as though she’d been offended. “You never complained about it before.”

Before? Before when? “I guess my tastes have changed since middle school,” Erin replied bitterly. Bunny had never truly been there, even before the Voights took her in. Besides, middle school Erin was too afraid to complain. With Bunny’s excessive drug use, it was hard to know what state of mind she’d be in. Even the smallest complaint at the wrong time could send the older woman into a rampage.

Erin took the cup to the counter. She’d just have to get coffee at the precinct. “It’s late. I gotta go,” she said, and left without another word.

_____________

“There you are,” Nadia said when Erin came up the stairs, leaping up to give her a hug. “You didn’t come home last night. I was so worried.”

“Yeah, uh, sorry about that,” Erin replied dispassionately, lamely returning the hug. “Where is everyone?”

Nadia tried not to let Erin’s indifference shake her. They were all hurting, but for Erin, it was different. “Olinsky took a personal day, said he was too close to the case to keep working it. Antonio is at the Ivory Tower. They want him to take Voight’s spot. Ruzek and Halstead are out following a lead on the two shooters that got away. I don’t know when they’ll be -”

“Erin,” Jay gasped, coming up the stairs behind them.

Erin turned to face him and Nadia stepped back to her desk, giving the two some space. Jay had called her multiple times last night asking if Erin was home yet. He couldn’t reach her either.

Halstead pulled her into his arms. “You had me worried last night. You never picked up and when you didn’t show up this morning -”

“Well I’m here now, aren’t I?” she clipped, pushing out of his arms and turning toward her desk.

Surprised and hurt but mostly worried, he grabbed her arm, turning her back to face him. “Are you sure you wanna be here right now?” he asked quietly. “You could take the day, go home and sleep the day away. Al did that. Nobody would judge you if you followed suit.”

She tried to glare at him, but her eyes betrayed how much pain she felt inside. Maybe not to everyone else, but he could see right through her. “I just wanna pretend like everything’s normal, okay?” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m staying here and we’re gonna catch these bastards. They killed one of our own and twelve innocents yesterday.”

He pressed his lips together but nodded. 

“What did you and Ruzek learn?” she asked, changing the subject. 

“Well, as you know, the guys are trying to get revenge on a Greg Hastings and his company -”

“Because the pollution killed a bunch of people in their neighborhood and the 8-year-old girl. Yeah, I remember.” She’d fed that information to Voight and he repeated it to two of the shooters, trying to use it for leverage. Then she’d listened as gunshots rang out and all chaos broke loose. 

Antonio gave the order to breach and SWAT flooded into the building, CPD on their heels, but it was too late. By the time they got in the building, two of the shooters were in the wind and the third was dead, hit by a sniper right after Voight’s lifeless body slumped to the ground.

Jay watched as Erin’s eyes seemed to get further and further away. “Erin?” he said, trying to pull her out of whatever had her mind captive. She didn’t budge, so he tried again, louder this time. “Erin!” 

“Yeah, I’m here,” she said, shaking off the onslaught of memories.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “I really wish people would stop asking me that.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but Ruzek came bounding up the stairs. 

“Guys! We just got a hit on the BOLO for our shooter’s car. It’s two blocks from Hastings’ office. Antonio, Kim, and Roman are gonna meet us there.”

“Let’s move,” Jay called.

____________

When they got to the office building, they quickly split up. Two uniformed officers were stationed on the ground floor, watching the only two doors in or out of the building. Ruzek and Atwater started on the ground floor and worked their way up. Burgess and Roman took the elevator to the top floor and were to work their way down. Antonio (now officially Head of Intelligence) talked to the receptionist to find where Hastings was. He, Halstead, and Lindsay went to the conference room on the fifth floor to cover him and search out from there.

“Nothing on the ground floor,” Atwater reported over the radio. “Moving to floor two.”

“Top floor’s clear,” Burgess said. “Taking the stairs to seven.”

Antonio stayed in the conference room, ushering everyone at the meeting into a large storage closet.

“Is this really necessary?” Hastings grumbled.

“If you want to come out of today alive, I suggest you follow my orders,” Antonio said, his eyes never leaving the doors. 

Hastings and his colleagues murmured about their disapproval some more, but did as Antonio asked.

Erin and Jay came to a divide in the corridor, wordlessly agreeing to split up.

She quietly creeped down the hallway, gun held steady in front of her. She came to a room across from a storage closet, quickly turning inside. It was clear.

When she stepped back out, however, she was met with the feeling of cool metal pressed to the back of her head.

“Not a word,” a man said behind her.

________________

“Six is clear. Antonio, we’re coming to you,” Burgess reported. 

“Copy that,” the sergeant replied. “Atwater?”

“So far nothing on thr- wait,” he said. 

Antonio stood silently, waiting for the detective to report more. 

A minute later, the radio chirped to life again. “One suspect in custody,” Ruzek advised. “We’re still looking for the younger one.”

“Good,” Antonio said. “Burgess, Roman, skip five, go down to four.”

“Copy that,” Burgess replied. “Heading to four.”

“Halstead, Lindsay?” 

“Nothing yet,” Halstead said. “Erin?”

There was no response.

“Lindsay?” Antonio repeated the younger detective’s question. The two must have split up.

Jay froze where he was in the hallway. Erin not responding could only mean one thing. “Damnit,” he cursed to himself, spinning on his heel and going to look for his partner.

____________

“Nick, you tested negative for gunshot residue,” Erin said gently, looking past the barrel of the gun to meet the young man’s eyes. She had dropped her gun and turned to face him. Now she just had to talk him into dropping his without getting her head blown off. “That means that you never pulled the trigger. You’re not a murderer, Nick.”

“There’s only one way this ends,” Nick gritted, unwavering. He had a duty to fulfill.

“No, there’s not,” Erin encouraged him. She could hear the others over the radio. They knew she wasn’t responding. They’d be coming for her soon. “You heard the radio. My colleagues have your uncle in custody, but you can still walk out of here. Now listen, they’ll be looking for me, and if they find us like this, you with your gun to my head, I can’t promise I can keep them from shooting you. Nick, if you put the gun down and come quietly with me, you can walk out of here. You’ll still do some time, but you can -”

“No!” he interrupted her. “No! Hastings has to die. He killed my little cousin. She was just a kid! She never did anything to deserve to die. He has to pay.”

Erin could see the uncertainty in the young man’s eyes. He wasn’t a killer, she reminded herself. She swallowed hard, deciding on a different tactic. “Well, if you really want to get to Hastings, you’re gonna have to shoot me first,” she said, looking him dead in the eye. “Go ahead, do it.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Then do it already,” she dared him. “Go on! Get it over with!”

He started to tremble and the gun started to lower, but then something behind her grabbed his attention. “Don’t move!” he yelled, the barrel again aimed at her forehead.

Erin glanced behind her. Antonio and Jay stood in the corridor, guns drawn.

“No, guys!” she cried. “Don’t shoot him.”

They traded an uncertain glance but followed her order. Neither of them had a clean shot anyway.

“Come on, Nick,” Erin said, turning back to the man in front of her, daring him again. “Shoot me.”

Jay’s head went into overdrive. What the hell was she thinking? He held his gun firm, aiming right at Nick’s head, ready to shoot, but the more Erin got in the boy’s face, the more the pistol aimed at her face started shaking. 

After a few loaded moments, Nick finally let his arms drop and handed his gun to Erin. Antonio rushed him, getting hold of him and putting on the handcuffs. 

Erin rolled to the side, leaning against the wall for support. 

“Erin,” Jay started, reaching to place a hand on her back.

She just shook her head, handed off Nick’s pistol and pushed past him. She felt like she was going to be sick.

“Erin!” he called after her, but she was gone.

____________

Jay was waiting for her when she came out of the bathroom.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, his brows pinched together with concern. “Do you have a death wish?”

She sighed. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have. “I’m fine, Jay.”

“Fine?! Erin, you were practically  _ begging  _ that guy to shoot you!”

“He wasn’t gonna do it. Relax.”

“You don’t know that,” he argued. 

“Are you talking as my partner right now or are you trying to pull the worried boyfriend card?” she snapped. “Because, if I remember correctly, you lost the rights to the latter option two weeks ago when you broke up with me because you were too worried about Voight.”

“What? I can’t be worried about my partner?” he asked defensively.

“I’m fine,” she said shortly, then spun on her heel and stalked away.


	2. Cut the Crap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After resolving the case, Erin goes back to Bunny's bar. What do Nadia and Jay have to say when she doesn't answer their texts or calls?

Despite being mad at Bunny this morning, Erin found herself back at her bar after she got off work. Nadia had asked her about Molly’s but she’d refused, citing needing some time alone. She suspected Jay had put her up to it, anyway. 

“I’m glad you came back,” Bunny told her, pouring her a glass of scotch. 

Erin stared into the glass. “This is the only place I have without memories of him,” she said simply.

“Erin, sweetheart,” Bunny cooed. 

The sympathetic tone quickly made her forget her sorrows and she tiredly glared at her mother. "I don't need to be coddled. I just need to forget." She downed the shot. “Let’s just not talk about it.”

Bunny refilled her glass with a shrug. As far as she was concerned, it was a damn good thing Hank was dead. No one would be poisoning her daughter’s mind against her now. "So. You'll never guess who I ran into today."

Erin really didn't care, but if it meant not talking about her feelings or work or Hank - "Who?"

"So I'm just running some errands and this guy comes up to me with his arms outstretched saying, ‘Remember me?’ It’s Landon Vannagan. You remember him?”

“Scrawny kid from down the street?” Of course she remembered Landon. “He used to pick a fight with me every day after school. He bit me once.”

“Well he has definitely done some growing up,” Bunny said, refilling her daughter’s glass, trying not to look at the man approaching her. In the end though, she failed, flicking her eyes to the man who was now leaning up against the bar beside Erin.

Erin followed her mother’s gaze and quickly looked back to her, cocking her head as if to say  _ Really? You invited him here? _ before she turned back to the man beside her. “Hey, Landon,” she said politely.

“Been a minute,” he replied with a wistful grin.

“Yeah, I’d say,” she nodded. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“I’ll let you two get caught up,” Bunny said, setting another glass on the bar for Landon before excusing herself.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked, nodding at the stool beside her.

She shook her head. Maybe she should mind, but right now, she found she didn’t. 

A few drinks later, he asked her to go home with him.

Maybe she shouldn’t, but she sure as shit didn’t want to go to her home and she definitely didn’t want to be alone. At the very least, it would be better than going home with Bunny.

____________

Nadia sat up waiting for Erin again that night. It was almost midnight and she still wasn’t home, so she pulled out her phone and texted Halstead. He called her a few moments later.

“Hello.”

“Erin’s not home yet,” he said, more a statement than a question.

“I can’t stop looking at the door, Jay. She’s not answering her phone and she hasn’t responded to any of my texts.”

“She hasn’t been answering me either.” 

“I’m worried about her.”

“I know. So am I.” He paused. “She’ll hate me for this, but if I start driving around looking for her, do you want to come with?” he asked, sounding a little uncertain.

“If she didn’t want us to come looking for her, she should have told me, at the very least, where she was going or not to wait up for her or  _ something _ .”

“Be there in ten. Meet me outside.”

They ended the call and she jumped up to grab her coat and a notepad, quickly scribbling some ideas of where Erin might have gone. 

_____________

Ninety minutes later, all of her suggestions and most of Jay’s had been crossed off. Their initial worry had festered into something much more. Erin was nowhere to be found.

“Wait, stop,” Nadia said suddenly, pointing out the window. “That’s her car.”

Jay whipped into the nearest parking spot and practically leaped out of the vehicle. Nadia jogged ahead to look in the car as he took stock of the buildings around them, searching for anywhere Erin may have gone. 

Nadia came back to him with a brief shake of her head.

“There,” he said, pointing to a bar. 

“She did come to work really hungover. Let’s check it out.” 

The bar was quiet, most people having gone home by the early hours of the morning. They headed toward the bar where the bartender had her back to them. Jay cleared his throat, getting her attention. 

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me,” Nadia murmured when the woman turned around.

Jay’s face hardened when he recognized Bunny. “Where is she?” he demanded.

“Jay! How nice to -” she started insincerely.

“Cut the crap, Bunny,” he interrupted fiercely. “Where’s Erin?”

“Why is that any of your business?” she asked cheekily. “I heard you broke up with her.”

“He’s here with me,” Nadia said, leaning menacingly on the bar, “so stop being all pretentious, acting like you’re trying to protect her. Erin’s not answering her phone and I’m worried about her. So if you know where she is, I would very much like to know where to find her.”

“She went home with an old friend. Sheesh. You don’t have to be so bitchy about it,” Bunny said with a dismissive wave.

“And where does this ‘friend’ live?” Nadia pressed. 

Bunny narrowed her eyes, ready to argue, but a piercing look from Nadia kept her from saying anything. She huffed, rolling her eyes and scribbled an address down on a napkin.

“Thanks,” Nadia said dryly, snatching the napkin out of the older woman’s hands before spinning on her heel and exiting the bar, Jay following right behind her.

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Jay said on the way back to the car. “You were spitting some serious fire back there.”

She stopped in front of the passenger door, her eyes still ablaze. “Erin’s told me enough stories about her mom for me to know I don’t trust her one bit.”

“You have good instincts,” Jay replied, getting in the car. 

_________________________

A pounding on the door woke Erin up. Landon was still passed out on the bed beside her. She carefully extracted herself from him and pulled a shirt over her head. Who the hell was coming to see him at - she glanced at the clock - 2:15 in the morning? 

She padded across the apartment and peered through the peephole. She groaned, but opened the door anyway. “What do you want?” 

“Nice to see you, too,” Nadia replied sarcastically, more than a little hurt by Erin’s brash greeting. 

“You weren’t answering your phone and we didn’t know where you were, Erin. We were worried,” Jay said, equally unamused by Erin’s attitude.

“Well, here I am. Happy now?”

“Actually no,” Nadia said, looking into the apartment behind her. There were drugs strewn across the coffee table. “That’d better not be what I think it is.”

“It’s Landon’s. Don’t worry about it,” Erin answered shortly.

Nadia narrowed her eyes, taking a long, hard look at her roommate. It might have been Landon’s, but Erin had definitely had some of it.

Jay scoffed and shook his head. He could see it too. “I don’t know who you are, but tell Erin that she has people who actually care about her, people who will love her no matter what and are here for her. . . if you ever see her again.” 

Erin rolled her eyes and started shutting the door in their faces. 

“No,” Nadia said, jaw clenched, catching the door before it closed. “Now here’s the deal. You’re gonna come home with us right now and sleep off whatever the hell you had. I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t the right way to deal with it. I don’t care if you stay at home with me or go home with Jay. You’re coming home with one of us.”

“What if I just want you to leave me the fuck alone?” Erin gritted, looking from Nadia to Jay and back again.

“I’ll drag you out of here kicking and screaming if I have to,” Nadia said, unmoving.

Erin turned to Jay, eyebrows raised as if daring him to agree with the younger woman.

“I’ll help her,” he said evenly, arms crossed in front of him. “Or do I need to arrest you for possession?”

She glowered at him. “You wouldn’t.”

To the Erin he’d fallen in love with, the Erin who’d been his partner for years, the Erin who always had his back? No, he wouldn’t. To whomever this was standing in front of him? Yes, he would. In a heartbeat. He’d do whatever it took to save her from herself. “Try me.”

“This is ridiculous,” she fumed, but turned back into the apartment and started grabbing her things.

__________________

Half an hour later, Jay pulled into Erin and Nadia’s apartment complex. He picked up Erin, who had fallen asleep on the way over, and carried her all the way into the apartment. 

The woman in his arms looked so much more at peace than the woman who’d answered the door nearly an hour ago. His heart broke a little for her. Voight had been as close to a father as Erin had ever had. 

He sighed. Losing Voight was no excuse for her behavior, but he blamed himself too. Shit, maybe she wouldn’t have retreated to Bunny if he hadn’t been such a coward around Voight. Maybe, if he would’ve manned up and owned their relationship, Erin wouldn’t have gone off to that Landon asshole, whoever he was. He didn’t really care. He just knew he wasn’t doing a very good job taking care of Erin. 

All Jay really wished was that Erin would have leaned on him instead and he never would have had to worry about her, never would have had to drive all over Chicago in the wee hours of the morning trying to find her. 

Inside, Jay carried Erin into her room.

“Jay?” Erin mumbled into his chest.

“Yeah?” He hadn’t realized she’d woken up, but between the closing doors and the dinging of the elevator, he couldn’t say he was surprised.

“Shirt?”

He gently laid her on the bed. “Of course,” he said, going to her closet and pulling out a familiar shirt. He chuckled softly. It was his. Erin had always stolen it to sleep in when they were still together. She must have kept it. He extended it toward her. “Here.”

“Help?” she asked him groggily.

He obliged, helping her out of her work clothes and into his shirt before letting her lay down again. Her head no sooner hit the pillow and she was asleep once more. He smiled softly, pulling a blanket over her and tucking her in. 

He stepped back out to the living room, where Nadia had pulled out some extra blankets and pillows.

“I figured you could stay here tonight since it’s so late,” she said quietly. 

“I appreciate that.”

She turned to go to her bedroom, but stopped. “Thanks for everything tonight, Jay.”

He smiled at her. “If it weren’t for you, I would probably still be out there looking for her. I should be thanking you. Now listen, if there’s anyone who loves Erin more than I do, it’s you, and I’ll always be here for you because of it.”

Nadia gave a tired smile in return. “I’m just glad we have her back.”

“Me too.”

There were going to be some hard conversations tomorrow, but for now, they had Erin, and they weren’t going to let her anywhere near Bunny again. 


	3. Ton of Bricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tough conversations

###  **Chapter 3: Ton of Bricks**

Erin’s head felt like it was about to explode when she woke up the next day. She groaned, burying her face in the pillow to hide from the light filtering into the room. 

As the scent hit her nose, it took her a moment to realize she was in her own apartment.

She could have sworn she went home with Landon.

How the  _ hell  _ had she gotten here?

She reluctantly rolled out of bed, headed for the restroom. She relieved herself then raided the medicine cabinet for some aspirin before padding out to the living room. Jay was on the couch, watching TV.

“How did I get here last night?” she asked.

He shut off the television and turned to face her, brows furrowed. “You don’t remember? Jesus, Erin, how drunk were you?” 

The disappointment in his tone hit her hard and she regretfully shrugged. She hadn’t planned on getting blackout drunk, but losing Hank fucking hurt. She was just dealing with it the only way she knew how. “Obviously drunk enough. One night I wake up at Bunny’s house, the next I swear I go home with Landon but I wake up here. It’s all a bit fuzzy.”

“You did go home with Landon,” he sighed, rubbing his forehead. “But you were ignoring Nadia and me for the second night in a row. Did we ever even cross your mind, Erin?” He paused. “You know we found you in his apartment with drugs, right? What would’ve Voight had to say about that?”

He hit her right where it hurt and he knew it. Was it a dick move to bring up her surrogate father like that three days after he’d been murdered? Probably. Did he care? No. Especially not if it knocked some sense into her so she’d quit whatever had happened the last couple days. He watched as her expression shifted from confused to mad to regretful in a matter of seconds. 

“Fuck,” she murmured. Hank would have been pissed. He would have made some comment about her hitting a banana peel. And hanging around Bunny again? He’d have plenty to say about that, too, and not a single thing good. She turned to Jay, a somber look on her face. “What am I doing?”

“You’re mourning, Erin. You just made some bad decisions doing it,” he said, cautiously laying a hand on her shoulder. “You know I’m still your partner, right?”

The front door opened behind them, interrupting him. Nadia had returned with lunch. 

“Oh, you’re up,” she said to Erin, fighting to keep her voice neutral. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Erin replied, having the grace to sound a little apologetic. 

When Nadia didn’t say anything in return, Erin knew she would have to be the one to talk. She hadn’t apologized to Jay yet but it seemed like he had already started to forgive her. Nadia, on the other hand, might be harder to convince.

She took a breath to prepare herself. “Nadia, I’m s-”

“Let me stop you right there,” the younger woman said, holding up a hand. “You almost totally shut out two of the people who love you the most for what? Your deadbeat, manipulative mother? What the hell has she ever done for you? We’re here for you  _ every day _ , Erin. The  _ least _ you could have done was texted us, but no. You go home with some random ass dude and we have to track you down in the middle of the night because we’re worried  _ sick  _ about you. Then when we finally find you, not only are you drunk off your ass, you’re high, and you’re pissed that we had the audacity to care? Don’t apologize unless you’re ready to promise me it’s not gonna happen again. Ever.”

Damn. She’d thought Jay’s disappointment was a hard pill to swallow, but Nadia’s? That hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn’t even try to suppress the tears stinging her eyes. “I can understand why you’re upset,” she said sheepishly.

“Upset?” Nadia interrupted, hands on her hips, her eyes ablaze, “Erin, I’m more tha-”

Jay put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. “Let her finish, would you?” he requested softly. 

One corner of Erin’s mouth pulled upward, a tiny thank you to Jay. “I fucked up,” she said to both of them, fighting to maintain eye contact. She wanted so badly to stare at the floor, to avoid the anger and disappointment in her friends’ eyes. “You have every right to be disappointed, pissed off, whatever. I don’t know why I went back to Bunny. I never should have. And I never should have gone with Landon. Hell, I never should have left home. I, uh - I think I might need to take some time off, maybe get out of Chicago for a bit, get my head straight, but I promise,” she paused, locking eyes with Nadia and Jay in turn. “I promise I’m not gonna let this be a banana peel any more.”

The silence following her apology was deafening. She pulled her lip between her teeth, waiting for one of them to say something, anything. 

Jay was the first to make a move, pulling her into a hug. “Whatever you need, I’ve got your six,” he whispered into her ear. He’d do just about anything for her.

“Thanks, Jay,” she replied softly. 

He let her go, stepping backward. “I’ll give you two a minute,” he said, turning toward the kitchen. 

Nadia stood with her arms crossed, watching Jay retreat from the room. As soon as he’d gone, she turned back to her roommate. “Do you remember how upset you were when I brought my friend who was overdosing here to get her some help?” she asked through a clenched jaw. “You all but tore me a new one. So now that you run off without a word and we find you \- not one of your friends that you brought home - _you,_ Erin, what am I supposed to say?”

Erin shrugged, looking much like a puppy with its tail tucked between its legs. She didn’t know how to answer that.

“Look, Erin,” Nadia sighed, calmer now that she had all of her frustrations off her chest, “You take your time off and you keep that promise, talk to someone if you need to. Me, Jay, whoever.  _ Prove  _ you’re not gonna spiral away from us. I can’t lose you to the same life you saved me from.”

Erin sniffled, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Nadia.”

Nadia took a step forward and pulled her friend into a giant hug. “I know.”

The two were still wrapped in each other’s arms when Jay came back. Without a word, Nadia extended one arm, inviting him into the hug. He gladly obliged, dropping one small kiss into Erin’s hair. 

Things might not be back to normal yet, and there was still a lot of pain to work through, but the three of them had just taken a massive step in the right direction.

____________________

After they’d had lunch and Jay went back to his apartment, Erin called Antonio, who gladly granted her request for the next two weeks off. 

“Oh, Erin?” he said, stopping her from hanging up just yet. 

“Yeah?”

“Since you won’t be here when I ask the rest of the team for their opinions tomorrow - I want to ask Burgess to fill my spot.”

“Sure you can handle having two women upstairs who could kick your ass?” she teased.

“Hey, I’m your Sergeant now. You better be careful what you say or I’ll write you up,” Antonio chuckled. “But - on a more serious note - given our line of work, having people who can hold their own is the whole point.”

Erin smiled. “Then I’ll look forward to seeing her at your desk when I come back.”

“Thanks, Erin.”

“You’re welcome. See you next week,” she said, then she hung up.

_____________________

Erin was putting her suitcase in her car the next morning when Jay pulled up. He'd offered to give Nadia, who didn't have her own car yet, a ride to the precinct while Erin was gone.

"You're early," Erin commented.

"I brought breakfast for my two favorite ladies. Thought we might want time to eat it," he explained, trying to sound nonchalant as he walked around to the passenger side of his car.

"Aww," she said, seeing right through him, "You wanted a goodbye hug."

He smiled softly and shrugged. "Guilty."

Erin returned his smile as he leaned into his car to retrieve the breakfast pizza and coffees he'd picked up.

"So where you gonna go?" he asked, walking toward the apartment.

She shrugged. "Don't know yet."

"Well, wherever you go, will you let me know when you get there?"

"Sure," she answered with a soft smile.

_____________________

Once they finished breakfast and got everything cleaned up, they walked out to their cars together.

"You guys be safe, okay? I want everyone to be in one piece when I come back," Erin said.

"You too," Nadia replied, giving her a quick hug.

Erin turned to Jay next, arms open with a knowing smile on her face. He smiled and pulled her in for a goodbye hug, speaking softly into her ear. "I'll leave my ringer on if you need anything - and I mean  _ anything _ , even if you just miss home and want to hear a familiar voice."

She thanked him and smiled against his shoulder, letting the hug linger just a little longer than normal.

Somewhat reluctantly, he started to pull away from her.

They said their goodbyes then Nadia and Jay were headed back to the precinct, and Erin was on her way to wherever her heart would take her.

______________________

“Oh good, you’re here!” Trudy exclaimed when Nadia and Jay got to the precinct.

“Morning, Sarge,” Jay called back, confused why the desk sergeant was in such a chipper mood. 

“Was I talking to you?” she asked, reverting to her signature sassy tone. “No. I wasn’t. Get outta here. I need to talk to Nadia.”

Jay rolled his eyes, continuing toward the stairs. He probably never would know why the desk sergeant seemed to hate him.

“Good morning, Sergeant!” Nadia chirped, bouncing up to the desk.

Trudy leaned forward onto the counter once Halstead turned away, an envelope in hand and an excited grin on her face. “This came for you from headquarters this morning.”

“My test results?”

“That’s my guess.” 

Nadia sucked in a nervous breath, staring at the envelope in her hands.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Trudy prodded. “Go on - open it!”

Nadia summoned up all her courage, ripped open the envelope and pulled out the letter inside, trying to ignore the sergeant’s prying eyes over her shoulder. 

“So?”

“Ms. Nadia Decotis,” Nadia read, “This letter is to commend you on being accepted as a recruit to the Chicago Police Department.”

“Oh yes! I knew it!” Trudy exclaimed, extending her hand to give the younger woman a high five. “I can’t wait to get you on my squad.”

“But Sarge, we don’t have any openings here.”

“Who do you think is going to fill the opening upstairs? Someone from another precinct?  _ Absolutely not _ ! I’ll bet you anything Antonio pulls either Burgess or Roman upstairs to the good ole boys’ club and then guess what? I have an opening down here and you’d better believe I’m not letting you go to any other precinct in this city.”

“Really?” 

“Really. Now get upstairs and enjoy your last few days of freedom, cuz starting Monday, you’re mine.”


	4. Out Cold

**Chapter 4: Out Cold**

Before she even got out of the city, Erin had a strong desire to pull off the skyway.

She'd just crossed the Calumet River. With a quick glance to the east, she could see Lake Michigan and Calumet Park.

She found a parking spot and walked over to the playground. School was in session, so it was totally empty.

She lowered herself onto the tire swing and pushed off the ground with her toes, staring out toward the water.

…...

_This week had been a fucking nightmare._

_More of a nightmare than usual, that is._

_Three of her friends just got arrested for murder and her mom had forgotten her sixteenth birthday._

_She scoffed. At this point, she was over it. Bunny never remembered her birthday._

_But she wasn't over her friends. Sure, they'd been flaunting a gun they stole, but Erin didn't think they'd actually use it. To add insult to injury, some cop named Voight wanted her to flip on them, saying she could either give him information on them or he'd take her in and charge her as an accessory._

_She'd stayed silent at first. None of her friends were there, but surely they'd know if she was the one to flip._

_Voight leaned in. "I know your mom. Bunny Fletcher, right?"_

_She tried to stay mum, but her curiosity got the better of her. "How do you know my mom?"_

_"How don't I know Bunny?" he'd mused. "She's been in and out of lock up more times than I can count. With a record like that, I can't imagine she has much time for her daughter, probably misses a lot. It was just your birthday a couple days ago, wasn't it? Must suck getting looked over all the time." He paused, studying her. He'd touched a nerve and he knew it. "Now listen close, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. You help me, I help you. I've got an extra bedroom at home. You tell me as much as you know, it's yours. New school district, new life. I'll give you a shot to clean up your act and make something of yourself."_

_She furrowed her brow, looking up at him._

_"I'll give you a bit to think about it. If you want to talk, meet me on the playground at Calumet Park in two hours. You be there and I'll help you. You're not there, I come looking for you - and make no mistake, I_ will _find you if you try to run - and you'll be going away with your pals."_

…...

She let herself swing to a stop. This is where she'd been nearly sixteen years ago. This is where her life changed forever.

She'd gone home with Hank that night and had the first home cooked meal she'd had in months. She slept the whole night, something she never allowed herself to do on the streets and something she never could do when Bunny was home.

Hank, Camille, and Justin had welcomed her with open arms. Now they were all dead. It wasn't fair. Why should she be the one to survive all of them?

She sighed and pulled herself back to her feet. No use thinking like that. It wouldn't bring any of them back.

With one last glance over her shoulder, she trudged back to her car and was on the road once more.

* * *

Erin's low fuel light dinged on as she was coming up on Toledo, Ohio.

She pulled off the interstate and her stomach growled, letting her know that it, too, needed filling.

After topping off her gas tank, she grabbed some lunch and stopped at a park on the edge of Lake Erie to eat. She stared out over the water as she ate.

Maybe she would just stay here tonight, figure out where she was going in the morning. Or she could just figure out where she was going now. She'd already been driving for five hours, after all.

She opened her phone and entered a search for a random trip generator. She'd go to the first place that sounded interesting, as long as it didn't require a passport to get there. After the first few results came back in Berlin, Minsk, and Toronto, a town called Luray in Virginia came up.

A quick Google search showed it to be close to Washington D.C. and Shenandoah National Park. Good enough for her.

When she'd finished eating, she strolled around, giving her legs some activity to hold them over before she drove for another six and a half hours. Then, she pulled up directions and she was off.

* * *

Around noon, Jay finally looked away from his computer screen. They were all just catching up on reports today. Antonio had just come out to tell them his intention to pull Burgess up to Intelligence. Nearly everyone voiced their support before turning back to their paperwork.

Ruzek was the only one to take issue with it. "Oh no. I can't let you do that," he said.

Antonio scoffed. "Let me?"

"This job is dangerous," the younger man pressed on, "I can't let you put my girl in harm's way every day."

"I don't believe you have a say in the matter. She's a damn good cop, Ruzek, and fully capable."

"But if she gets hurt -"

"Hey, Halstead!" Antonio interrupted.

"Yeah?" Jay asked, turning away from his computer once more.

"You and Lindsay are together, right? How do you feel about her working Intelligence?"

"Nobody I'd rather have my back than Erin. She's the toughest cop I know," Jay said. He didn't bother to tell the new sergeant that he and Erin were taking a bit of a break for the moment.

"That's different," Ruzek argued.

"Look, I understand you want to look out for your girl," Antonio said, making it clear he was done with this debate, "but you're the only one to take issue with it. If she accepts and seeing her in Intelligence is going to be an issue for you, I'm sure Sergeant Platt can find a spot for you in uniform. Now, should I ask her about that or are we cool?"

Ruzek glared at his sergeant. "We're cool," he gritted out.

"Okay good," Antonio replied, though he knew he was going to have to watch closely how Ruzek and Burgess worked together. He wouldn't be able to partner them up, that was for sure. He'd probably put Burgess and Atwater together. They'd been partnered in uniform so they already had some idea how the other worked. Ruzek would have to go with Olinsky. The older man was good for him.

* * *

A half a week into her vacation, Erin had seen everything Luray had to offer. She'd gotten in late, so the first day, she just relaxed in the hotel. She called Jay as soon as she got checked in then spent the rest of the evening sleeping off the day of driving. The second and third days, she'd explored Shenandoah National Park and the caverns. Then she'd stayed there for an additional four days and made the trip to D.C.

As the days passed by, it was getting easier to wake up in the mornings. The pain in her chest from losing Hank and the guilt in her gut for running away from her friends began to subside. It was still going to take some time to heal, but she was headed in the right direction.

Today, one week after leaving Chicago, she decided to take her vacation in another direction. She checked out of her hotel and drove to Baltimore. After she found a hotel with an open room, she went to visit the National Aquarium.

She grabbed some lunch afterward then went to Fort McHenry and, later, a nearby park.

She was strolling through the park, stopping every so often to greet curious dogs and their friendly owners. Suddenly, she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. Just like that, her detective senses were on high alert.

A gunshot rang out and she located a man in a Navy uniform bleeding heavily on the ground and another man, gun still in hand, running.

Part of her wanted to stay with the victim, start administering first aid. She was supposed to have a partner for this reason… among others. That way one of them could tend to the victim and the other could chase the suspect. "You! Call 911!" she yelled, pointing at a random stranger. Since Jay (or any other partner she might be assigned) was still back in Chicago, that would have to do, and she took off after the man with the gun. Instinctively, her hand went to her waistband, grasping for her own firearm.

But she was grabbing at air. She didn't have her gun here. She'd left it in Chicago.

 _Shit_.

She kept chasing the gunman anyway. She was gaining on him.

"Hey! Stop!" she yelled after him.

He didn't stop.

She was only a few feet behind him now. A couple more bounds and she tackled him.

"Drop it," she growled, trying to wrestle the gun out of his hands.

Two more shots rang out and Erin cursed as a searing pain ripped through her right shoulder.

Seeing an opening, she swung her left elbow into the gunman's face - hard - and he was out cold.

She rolled off of him, holding her right arm close. She stood, feeling a little unsteady on her feet, and kicked the gun away. The adrenaline of the chase was wearing off fast.

Just then, two uniformed officers came running up behind her.

"Baltimore PD! Hands where we can see them!" one of them yelled.

Erin raised her left arm and stuck her right hand to the side of her torso so the officers behind her could see. "My right arm's hit. I'm unarmed," she called back, feeling rather woozy. She was losing a lot of blood. She started turning around at a snail's pace. "Your guy's on the ground. Gun's about two yards that way." She nodded her head weakly toward where she'd kicked the weapon. "I gotta sit down," she mumbled. She heard one of the officers starting to radio for an ambulance. Her vision was getting blurry and sounds were fuzzy.

She was going to die here, wasn't she?

_No, Erin. You can't think like that._

She thought of Jay, picture perfect memories from the day they'd met, to the day she'd skipped out on the task force and that blasted press conference to come back to him... the day they finally got together... the day he asked her to move in with him... and so many more, all leading up to now.

God, she missed Jay.

She was fighting the coming darkness, but it was getting hard. She didn't know if she would come back from this.

"Jay," she croaked, then she couldn't fight it anymore and her world went black.


	5. End of the World

**Chapter 5: End of the World**

It had been a slow day. On the bright side, Jay had finally gotten caught up on all of his paperwork from last week.

He never would have accomplished that if Erin were here. He'd be writing notes, then crumpling up the paper and throwing it at her. He didn't do it much when Voight was around, but Voight wasn't here to stop him anymore.

He would get a slight feeling of hunger and use it as an excuse to go talk to her. She had a desk drawer dedicated to snacks - mostly for him. He thought about going and grabbing one, but it was a quarter after one. He really should just go get his lunch.

He grabbed his leftovers from the fridge and popped them in the microwave. His cellphone rang. He looked at the caller ID. It was a number from Maryland. Probably just a telemarketer. He ignored it.

The microwave beeped and he took his lunch back to his desk. He'd no more than sat down when Nadia told him there was a call waiting for him.

He picked up the phone. "Hello," he answered.

"Jay Halstead?" a woman asked on the other end of the line.

"Yeah," he said.

"This is Angie Rizzoli, I'm a nurse at Harbor Hospital in Baltimore. We have Erin Lindsay here. Law enforcement said there was a note in her wallet saying to call you if anything happened to her."

Jay nearly dropped the phone. He couldn't breathe. They just got Erin back.

"Mr. Halstead, what is your relationship to Ms. Lindsay?" Angie asked.

"She's my partner." He knew if he classified it as a working relationship, the nurse probably wouldn't tell him what was going on, but there was nobody else to tell besides Nadia, and she wasn't related either.

"Do you know her next of kin, someone who can make medical decisions for her?"

He couldn't help the tears that flooded his eyes. "I'm the closest she's got."

"Mr. Halstead, Ms. Lindsay was brought to our emergency department with multiple gunshot wounds. She's unconscious and we're taking her in for emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. We're going to need you to come to Baltimore as soon as you can."

"What happened?" Jay choked out. He couldn't lose her.

"We'll fill you in when you get here. Just come as soon as you can."

He didn't need to be told again. He was on the next flight to Baltimore.

* * *

Erin woke up in the hospital a couple hours later. It took a couple moments for her to get her senses about her, but then she remembered everything.

A nurse came knocking on her hourly rounds. Her name tag identified her as Maura Jordan, RN.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like I got shot," Erin answered dryly.

"You say that like it's happened before."

"It has, plenty of times."

Maura quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm a cop in Chicago," Erin explained. "No stranger to a gunfight."

"Oh," the nurse said, finally understanding. "Well you got lucky with this one. The surgeon said the bullets barely missed your lung."

"The surgeon?" Apparently she _didn't_ remember everything.

"You were unconscious when the paramedics brought you in," Maura explained as she changed the bandaging on Erin's shoulder. "One of the bullets nicked your subclavian artery, the other one broke through your clavicle and lodged in your scapula. We performed emergency surgery to stop the bleeding, remove the fragments, and put a screw in to set your clavicle back to how it's supposed to be. Not that you have issues with this as law enforcement, but metal scanners at the airports aren't going to let you go through without raising hell anymore."

Erin offered her a small smile. She liked this nurse.

Maura finished up her examination and told Erin to call if she needed anything before she came back in an hour, then she was off to the next patient.

Shortly after she left, another knock sounded at the door. A tall, white man with short, sandy blonde hair stood beside a shorter, olive-skinned woman with long, dark, unruly waves.

Erin didn't recognize either of them, but noted the badges and guns holstered on their belts.

"Erin Lindsay?" the woman asked.

She nodded. "That's me."

"I'm Special Agent Ziva David (Dah-veed) and this is my partner, Special Agent Tony DiNozzo."

Tony took over. "We're with NCIS. We were told you're the one who took down the gunman."

"You have him in custody?"

"Not often our job is done for us," Ziva affirmed with a nod. "We just have to wait for ballistics to come back."

"Not often an unarmed civilian is ballsy enough to chase down a shooter," Tony said.

Erin smirked. "I'm not exactly your average civilian. I'm an Intelligence detective with the Chicago Police Department. I was practically on top of him before I remembered my sidearm was still in Chicago."

"That explains a lot," Tony commented.

"Chicago," Ziva repeated, smacking her partner and shooting him a silencing look. He had a tendency to make inappropriate remarks. "What brings you to Maryland, Detective?"

"Lost our boss in a hostage situation gone wrong two weeks ago, but he was more than just a boss for me," Erin said with a thick swallow. "He was like my dad - had been since I was fifteen. I needed to get away for a bit after we got the bastards who killed him, clear my head."

"Sorry to hear that," Ziva replied. She and Tony both knew what it was like to regard their boss as a father figure.

Tony gave a sympathetic nod before moving on to their questioning. "That head of yours clear enough to remember what happened, Detective?"

Though the question was less than tactful, Erin knew it was for good purpose. Any officer worth their salt would want to get as trustworthy of a witness report as they could. She nodded and gave as thorough of a statement as she could.

They thanked her when she'd finished and told her to make sure she stayed in town in case they had any more questions. Good thing she wasn't supposed to be back in Chicago for another week… not like she was going to be able to go back out in the field right away anyway.

As the agents turned and walked away, Erin couldn't help but notice Agent DiNozzo's hand come to rest on the small of his partner's back. Erin's mind floated to Jay. He used to do that to her all the time.

Agent David said something too quiet for Erin to hear, but the smile that danced across her partner's face as a result could have been seen from outer space. Clearly the two were more than just partners.

People often said that about her and Jay, even before they were dating.

She missed those days.

Things had been so tense between him and Voight before the older man's death.

Maybe now that he wouldn't be around to make Jay's life hell at work they could try again. She subconsciously pulled her phone and dialed his number before realizing what she was doing.

Shit. This wasn't a conversation appropriate for a phone call.

She quickly hung up. She'd talk to him later.

A good thing she didn't call, too, because the nurse came back again to test her vitals and check the bandages.

Erin appreciated the care she was getting, but between that and giving her statement, she was tired and growing frustrated that she couldn't just have some alone time to rest.

When Nurse Jordan left her room, she gladly reclined back onto the bed. It wasn't the coziest thing in the world, but she was too tired to care.

She pulled the blanket up over her chest and let her eyes close. She was about to fall asleep…

Then there was another knock at the door.

"What?!" she snapped, not even bothering to open her eyes and look who it was this time. She just wanted to sleep.

"Well you must not be hurt too bad," Jay commented, his voice still thick with worry. "You're still just as feisty as I remember."

Her eyes flew open. "Jay?" she breathed, instantly forgetting the irritation she'd felt only a moment ago. "What are you doing here?"

He rushed to her side and grabbed her hand, pain etched on his face. "They called me at work. I came as fast as I could. The way they made it sound, I thought I'd lost you," he said, not bothering to blink away the tears in his eyes. "God, Erin, I was so scared. It felt like the end of the world, the end of _my_ world. All the things I never got to tell you -" he trailed off, just looking at her, relieved she was okay.

"Unfortunately for you, you're stuck with me for at least a little bit longer." She grinned at him, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "But for now, I gotta get some rest."

"I'll be right here when you wake up."

She smiled again then closed her eyes, letting sleep take her.

* * *

While Erin was sleeping, Jay took the opportunity to call back to the 21st. He relayed what he knew, which wasn't much right now, just that Erin was alive and in good spirits. He'd update them as he learned more.

As promised, he was still right there when she woke up nearly an hour later. Nurse Jordan introduced herself to Jay and did her check up.

Once she left, Erin turned to Jay. "You'll - uh - you'll never guess what I did today."

"Judging by where we currently are, it could be anything," he mused. He was relieved that she was okay, but he was still in the dark as to what happened to get them here. "They just told me you got shot. Lay it on me. What'd you do?"

"Well I'm gonna have a cool new scar, to start."

"No shit."

She chuckled then recounted the story for him. She started by telling him where the shots hit her and about her surgery, then she backtracked to the part about witnessing the murder of a Naval officer, chasing the guy who'd fired the gun, and finally taking a bullet when she'd tackled the man to the ground. "So I got a personal thank you from a federal agency today," she finished with a brag.

"That's my girl," he said, a proud smile spreading across his face.

She smiled in return. "So I'm your girl again, huh?" she teased.

"Erin," he started cautiously, but she interrupted him.

"You know how I said I got questioned by a couple feds earlier?" she asked.

"Yeah." Where was she going with this?

"It was like watching me and you, back before Hank scared you off."

"So they had each other's backs?" He thought he knew where she was going with this now, but wanted to be sure. His emotions were a mess just a couple hours ago. He didn't trust himself enough to start jumping to conclusions.

"They looked like they had a lot more than that of each other," she responded, giving him a pointed look.

"Erin, I'm sorry-" he started, but then he realized he didn't know what to say. Sorry wasn't quite accurate. He'd done what was best for his career at the time because there was no way that Voight would have given Erin the boot.

"Don't worry about it," she said with a shake of her head. "It wasn't your fault. I'm the one who should be sorry, and I am - not just for not leaning on you after Hank died, but also for not having your back and standing up to him. He shouldn't have threatened your job like he did, Jay. I should have called him on it."

He shook his head. "If you would have said anything to him, we both know that would have just made it that much worse. You've had my back in everything else. That's what matters. It's all in the past now, and I'd very much like to keep it there. Life's too short to focus on the 'should haves.' I knew that before, but it really hit me when I got that call four hours ago. Whatever I told you, whatever I told myself a month ago, forget it. I'm a damn fool for giving you up and it scared the shit out of me when I thought I'd lost you. Can you give me a second chance?"

She reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. "You gave me a second chance just last week, even before I'd asked for it. Who would I be to deny you yours?"

He breathed a sigh of relief. A smile crossed his face and he met her eyes. "I love you, Erin," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he leaned in close.

"I love you too," she replied, closing the distance to meet his lips.


	6. Not Your Ordinary Robbery

**Chapter 6: Not Your Ordinary Robbery**

* * *

Erin was released from the hospital two days later with strict instructions to keep her wounds and bandaging clean and to have her doctor check it within the week.

They hit a drive thru on the way back to the hotel. The food is subpar, but she's too tired to care. Jay hasn't slept much in the last two days either. Hospitals never allow for a good night's sleep.

She makes a beeline for the bed as soon as they get back to the hotel. Jay settles onto the bed next to her and she curls into him, humming contentedly at the contact.

Within minutes, they're both asleep.

* * *

When they wake up again, it's in the orange light of the early morning.

She's still curled into him, her injured arm resting on his chest, one leg haphazardly thrown across his torso. He's got one arm wrapped around behind her, his hand splayed across her back. As her eyes flutter open, he reaches to push a stray hair out of her face, his thumb brushing her cheek in the process.

Looking into his eyes, she decides four pillows is more than enough from here on out.

* * *

An Agent McGee calls her that morning as they're heading back to their room after breakfast, letting her know that NCIS had closed the case and she's free to go wherever, thanking her again for her help.

"Does that mean we have to go home now?" Jay pouts on the elevator ride up to her room.

"Here I thought you'd be excited to get home," she purrs, looking him over suggestively, thankful they're the only ones in the elevator.

His Adam's apple bobs and he sucks in a breath, his jeans suddenly feeling much too tight. He tries to argue. "Er, the doctor told you to take it easy," but even he doesn't buy it. He hasn't been with her in far too long.

A lascivious smirk dances across her lips and she backs him up against the wall of the elevator car. "So you'll be on top." Her hand floats down, giving him a quick squeeze through his jeans.

This woman is going to be the death of him.

She's peppering kisses along his neck now, her hand teasing at the hem of his shirt. It's all he can do to not take her right then and there.

How long does it take this thing to get to the sixth floor?

The elevator slows to a stop, finally reaching the correct floor. Her hand slides into his and she all but drags him down the hall to her room.

As soon as they're inside, his lips are on hers and he's pressing her up against the door, careful to keep pressure off of her injured shoulder.

"Jay," she breathes between kisses.

"Yeah?" He responds, moving his mouth to her neck.

She drops her head back against the door, a moan escaping her lips as he finds her sweet spot. "Take me to bed," she rasps.

He wastes no time scooping her up into his arms, their lips fused together as he carries her back to the bedroom.

* * *

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

* * *

Erin woke up before her alarm to the smell of coffee. She glanced at the time. She'd have to get up soon enough anyway. It wasn't worth going back to sleep, so she rolled out of bed and started getting ready for the day. Maybe the early start meant that they could avoid the beginning of rush hour traffic.

Sure enough, she and Nadia pulled into the station earlier than usual.

Nadia split off to go change into her uniform and Erin started heading upstairs.

"Hey, Erin!" Trudy called. "Nadia's partner called in sick half an hour ago. I want you with her in uniform today."

Erin eyed her suspiciously. "Me?" Not that she didn't want to ride with Nadia, but there were plenty of other uniforms. Why pull her down from Intelligence?

"Yes, you. I already cleared it with your sergeant." Sensing the younger woman's hesitation, Trudy tried her best to play it off casually. "Come on, are you telling me you'd rather sit up there twiddling your thumbs until another case comes in instead of riding with the woman you inspired to become a cop?"

A smile spread across Erin's face. Come to think of it, spending one day partnered with Nadia would be pretty sweet. "Well, when you put it like that," she said, turning toward the lockers. "Just make sure you give us a good squad, yeah?"

* * *

"You good to go?" Antonio asked.

Jay took a look around the almost-empty apartment and nodded. "Tell Jenna -"

"Jennifer."

"Whatever. Tell her thanks again for this." If Antonio's new girlfriend were here, he would apologize and thank her personally for allowing him to use the apartment she was moving out of.

"I will. Give me five minutes to get out of here and I'll call dispatch." Antonio patted him on the back and turned to leave. "Good luck, Halstead."

Jay thanked his sergeant and shut the door behind him.

He took a deep breath. Five minutes until Antonio called dispatch.

He toyed with the small box in his pocket. Somewhere between five and fifteen minutes from now, he was going to ask his best friend to marry him.

Sure, six months might seem fast to some, but they had _so much more_ than just the last six months. They had years of being partners and always having the other's back. He'd never been more sure of anything in his life. Erin had always been there for him. He wanted to always be there for her.

* * *

Nadia and Erin spent the morning cruising the route Trudy assigned them. They had a handful of routine traffic stops and one call for a public disturbance. About two hours into their patrol, another call came over the radio. It was a report of a robbery in progress at an apartment complex. No weapons reported.

"You know where that is?" Erin teased.

Nadia shot a playful glare at her. "We're en route, two blocks out," she said back to dispatch.

When they got there, Nadia let Erin lead the way to the apartment.

"Chicago PD," Erin announced, rapping on the door.

A moment later, it swung open, revealing -

"Jay?" Erin asked, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

Nadia took this as her cue to leave, backing away soundlessly.

Jay sent her a grateful smile. "Come on in," he said, ignoring the question and stepping back so Erin could follow him in.

She eyed him suspiciously, but followed him into the apartment, and he swung the door closed behind them.

"Wait. Jay," she said. "Where'd Nadia go?"

He tried to play it off casually. "Probably forgot something in the car. I'm sure she'll be up soon."

"Jay," Erin said, the look on her face clearly communicating she didn't believe him. "What's really going on here?"

Jay, only a little disappointed his girlfriend could read him like a book, sighed. "Okay, fine, you've got me. Nobody actually lives here," he said. "but there was still a robbery."

She quirked an eyebrow at him and planted her hands on her hips, waiting for him to explain.

"Thankfully," he continued, trying his best to keep his cool. "the only thing that's stolen is my heart-"

Any confusion she had quickly resolved when he dropped to one knee and pulled a small, red box from his pocket. Her stance immediately softened, one hand floating up to cover her heart, which was now racing in excitement.

"- but I've known that you've had that for a long time," he continued. "You've been the best damn partner anyone could ask for, on and off the job. When we moved in together, I told you I don't want you to come and go. Now, I'm asking to take it one step further. Erin Lindsay, will you marry me?"

She beamed at him. "Of course I will."

He slid the ring on her finger and she pulled him to his feet, wrapping her arms around him and planting a kiss on his lips.

"I love you so much," he said, touching the tip of his nose to hers.

"I love you, too," she replied, kissing him again.

* * *

**P.S. If the "four pillows is more than enough" reference is foreign to you - look up the deleted scene from Linstead having a serious talk after moving in together. IT'S SO SWEET YOU'LL MELT.**

**Anyway, t** **hanks so much again for reading and commenting and I can't wait to see you on the next one!**

**Much love to you all,**

**Kae**


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